Divorced Parents Of Teens

Some children and teens are unable to comprehend that their parents are people that need love also. That being said, once a parent becomes a parent, this becomes their primary responsibility. Integrating a new person into their lives can be a very traumatic event for any of the children involved. Some Psychological experts have indicated that it is not a good idea for a parent to become involved with another person until their children are raised. It is obviously up to each individual parent and their family dynamics. It may work for a parent that still is responsible for raising children to begin dating another person. It would be safe to say that this should be handled very carefully if there are any children in the picture. Most marriage and family counselors will agree that is is a good idea to allow sufficient time to pass after the divorce to begin dating again. This would be true with or without children. A bounce back marriage or relationship typically will not last.

Optimal Post Divorce Relationships

The term optimal in this paragraph title indicates the best that can be arranged. Obviously when a divorce takes place feelings are strained, and divorcee's can easily end up hating each other. In an ideal world the divorce would only involve signing some papers and everyone exits the picture with kind feelings for on another. This is almost never the case. The dislike and sometimes hatred spreads to in laws, and even children if things are not handled properly. Some parents are able to develop a mutual working arrangement with their ex in order to help their children. In fact this is the only way that some parents are able to face their ex's. The successful divorced parent relationships are founded out of love for the children both biological parents created. No matter how strained things become, the children were created from both parents. It is important for both parents to be involved in the lives of their children. Exception's to this would of course be a parent that is breaking the law, abusive, or is using drugs.

Divorced Parent Reality

Now that we have described the "optimal" divorce potential it may be helpful to establish a few guidelines. It is never a good idea for a parent to speak negatively about their ex in front of, or to their children. This will not help the children in any way. It may ease the jealousy that one of the ex's is feeling, but will be of no help to the children. Another "never" would be using the children to manipulate the other parent. Children are smart and will soon see if they are being used. Even worse the children may begin to think it is ok to manipulate people. This will back fire on parents every time. Another negative behavior to avoid is trying to be the "Disney Parent". This term comes from parents taking their children to Disneyland on the weekend they have them. In many cases this is done to make the other parent look bad, and the Disney parent look good. Of course, it is ok for divorced people to take their children to Disneyland, it is the happiest place on earth. Parents need to be sure they are doing things for the right reasons with their children.